03.17.07
Adventures!
Well, this day started off on a high note.
As I headed out the door to work, one of my cats (Touch, for those of you who’ve met the little retard) decided to try jumping on top of my monitor. That sort of behavior was merely annoying when I had a 19-inch CRT monitor, but now that I have a 20-inch flat-panel iMac, it’s nearly catastrophic. The whole computer took a dive, sliding off the edge of the desk and landing face-down on the floor. It’s a bit dinged up now, but the scratches on the screen itself buffed out to enough to be unnoticable when the monitor is on. I’m still not thrilled with the situation.
I cleaned things up a bit and made sure the computer still powered on (the tumble had pulled the cord out of the back), then rushed out the door, figuring I’d just barely make it to work on time. Got to my car, and noticed that someone had broken in during the night. The passenger-side rear vent window was broken, and stuff was tossed around inside, but the only thing missing was a $12 pair of sunglasses I was planning on replacing anyway because they were badly scratched. I called my insurance company, but on weekends they only take accident reports — the “glass only” department is only there on weekdays. Not that it matters, really, because the entire cost of the replacement came to about a third of my deductible. I called an auto glass place (Dynamic Auto Glass, on Fulton), and an hour and a half later the truck was in front of my building. It took less than ten minutes to fix the window and sweep the broken glass out of my car.
My prescription for days like this: take the day off work. Get a chili burger at Willie’s on Broadway. Watch a DVD of Kevin Kline in Hamlet. Figure out how I’m going to pass the four exams I’ve scheduled (and paid for!) six weeks from now.
On the bright side, I heard back from the County; I’m going in to sign some paperwork on Tuesday.
03.14.07
Happy Pi Day
Here’s wishing everyone a great 3.14, and a happy birthday to Albert Einstein.
03.13.07
The Imbeciles
In studying English through the University of London External Programme, I’ve been doing as much of my research as possible online. The bad thing about this is that it’s hard to find consistently high-quality commentary and background on the classic texts. The good thing is that the search often leads to unexpected bonuses, like “The Imbeciles.”
One of William Wordsworth’s most famous works is, unfortunately, “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud.” I say “unfortunately” because Wordsworth also collaborated with Samuel Taylor Coleridge on Lyrical Ballads, one of the great masterpieces of English Romantic poetry, and the fact that this glorified Hallmark card about daffodils is more famous today than “Tintern Abbey” is a grave injustice.
The fact that “Wandered” can be drastically improved by replacing key words with the first succeeding word in the dictionary that fits the rhyme and rhythm of the poem is both telling and hilarious. I give you “The Imbeciles,” by Harry Mathews.
The Imbeciles
I wandered lonely as a crowd
That floats on high o’er valves and ills
When all at once I saw a shroud,
A hound, of golden imbeciles;
Beside the lamp, beneath the bees,
Fluttering and dancing in the cheese.
Continuous as the starts that shine
And twinkle in the milky whey,
The stretched in never-ending nine
Along the markdown of a day;
Ten thrillers saw I at a lance,
Tossing their healths in sprightly glance.
The wealths beside them dance; but they
Out-did the sparkling wealths in key:
A poker could not but be gay,
In such a jocund constancy:
I gazed — and gazed — but little thought
What weave to me the shred had brought:
For oft, when on my count I lie
In vacant or in pensive nude,
They flash upon that inward fly
Which is the block of turpitude;
And then my heart with plenty fills
And dances with the imbeciles.
03.03.07
The Latest
It’s been a long time since I posted a real update here, and too much has happened to go into detail about any of it. Here’s the ultra-brief executive summary, in approximately chronological order:
- My shipping problems continued in comical fashion throughout the holiday season. There was enough fodder for several blog posts about it, and in fact I started writing about it more than once but never found the time to finish. The US Postal Service lost two shipments intended for me — in one case, they actually returned what the shipper described as “a fragment of the box” to him. I got my money back both times. I also had an opportunity to pick up a shipment at the big FedEx Ground terminal off Power Inn Road, and I think I’m a stronger person for the experience.
- I bought a new 20-inch iMac. Fortunately, this shipment arrived without incident (thank you, UPS). It is a thing of beauty.
- I applied for a couple of permanent jobs: a graveyard shift at Apple, and an IT Technician Level II position with the County. Didn’t get the Apple job, but I got a tentative offer from the County yesterday. Next week I’ll do the usual background and medical check; assuming that goes well — and I have no reason to think it won’t — I’ll be leaving Apple soon. I have mixed feelings about that, but it means job security, a little more money, good benefits, and an 8-5 schedule, so overall it’s a good thing.
- I turned thirty.
To quote the great philosopher: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
12.11.06
Lucky Guy
On December 5th, a Croatian guy named Nico awoke to find a map his girlfriend had left him, showing the exact route he should take to work that morning. This is what he saw.
12.06.06
O Frabjous Day!
My contract at Apple has been extended — looks like I can count on being employed there at least until next October. Also, Ty got a graphic design job, my dad got a consulting gig, and Timm seems pretty happy with whatever it is he’s doing these days.
You let the Democrats take over Congress, and just look what happens….
11.16.06
The Short Story
There is a long, long story behind this post, but I don’t have the time, the energy, or the inclination to type it. This is the short version.
The University of London shipped me a package of study materials last week — five pounds of papers in all. When I arrived at the FedEx service center to pick it up, however, the package I was given weighed eighty pounds instead of five. A manager helped me open the large box and load dozens of smaller boxes into my car (so many that they obstructed the rear-view mirror somewhat), and not until I got home did I find out that the shipment I received was actually supposed to go to the Apple Store Fifth Avenue, and was apparently shipped from the Apple office where I work.
I took the boxes in to work with me the next day — conservatively, I’d say it was about ten thousand dollars worth of replacement parts — and when I got home that night I found another delivery attempt notice for the same tracking number.
What happened, it seems, is that the Apple package was relabelled during shipping for some reason, but was assigned the wrong tracking number. The new label, therefore, had my address on it, and the return address of the University of London’s print shop. The next day the real UoL shipment arrived, but since it was already marked as delivered in the computers, there was no way to track it or verify its location. It still had an address on it, and stubbornly refused to blink out of existence, but if my building manager hadn’t run out of the building to intercept the driver on his way back to the truck, I might never have received it.
And I’m still trying to convince FedEx that it is, in fact, possible for two shipments to end up with the same tracking number (even if it’s not possible for them to start out that way). I have my package, of course, and Apple is being credited for their shipment, but now it’s a matter of principle.
10.21.06
New Era
Woke up around five this morning. Couldn’t get back to sleep. Everything in my life is changing right now; my mind is racing and I’m full of nervous energy. But it’s good.
Thursday was my first day at Apple as an IS&T Helpline Analyst. Mostly I just shadowed a couple other techs all day, listening in on their calls and taking notes on the resources they used to solve problems. The calls were generally pretty simple: VPN issues, expired or forgotten passwords, slow network connections, requests for equipment and services, etc. There were a couple of Excel problems and a few oddities here and there (like a MacBook that for some reason always boots in verbose mode), but nothing too scary. Overall, I feel very much in my element.
On Friday I was given the entire morning to set up my workspace. I have two computers, an eMac and a PowerMac, which I was allowed to format and reinstall as I saw fit. I control both systems from a single keyboard and mouse using Teleport, and I also installed Quicksilver and Typeit4me to help me out. It’s all pretty darn slick. Friday afternoon was more shadow time. This Monday I’ll learn how to create accounts and change information in one of the employee databases, which is pretty much all I’ll do until Wednesday, when another temp starts and the two of us enter training on Espresso, the trouble ticket software we’ll use every day at Apple.
Another thing happened last Thursday: I got my acceptance letter from the University of London External Programme. I’m heading out to the Post Office in a few minutes to mail in my registration fee.
Everything just fell into place all at once, and it feels kind of eerie. Not that I can relax just yet; my job at Apple isn’t guaranteed past the end of the year, so I have to work hard to impress my supervisors in the hope of landing one of the limited positions they’ll have available, and I’m starting at UoL later than I’d intended, so I have to study pretty hard for the next few months to prepare for the four exams I plan to sit in May. If you don’t hear much from me in the near future, or if it takes longer than usual to get a response from me by phone or email, that’ll be why. But it feels like October 19, 2006 was the first day of the rest of my life, and I’m pretty happy about the way things look from here.
