06.16.06
For Patrick
Mouseover for full effect:
Patrick owes me a milkshake now.
05.30.06
Like the Andrews Sisters, on Acid
This clip of The Ross Sisters is apparently from a film called Broadway Rhythm, but that’s all I can tell you about the song or the stars. I don’t know who they were, what else they did, or what the hell the song is about. But it’s mesmerizing, that’s for sure. Pretty standard 1940s pop until about a minute in—after that, hold on to your hat.
05.08.06
Bad Ads, #1
Advertising fascinates me. I like to think I’m not unduly influenced by advertisers’ claims, but as a medium, as a subject of study, I’m simultaneously drawn to and repulsed by it. Although I own a TiVo and normally fast forward through the ads when I watch TV, every once in a while I leave the remote alone and watch a commercial break or two, just to see what’s what in the advertising world these days. And what I love most are the really, really bad ads.
You know the ones I’m talking about: the ones that disgust you, confuse you, just plain don’t make sense within the context of a sales pitch. They don’t just fail to make a convincing case—often they do the exact opposite. They put bad associations in your mind. They make you want to use someone else’s product out of spite.
Here’s the latest example I’ve seen:
The Setup: We’re in a doctor’s waiting room—“Dr. Ray’s office,” according to the receptionist’s voice from off-screen. A woman glances furtively at a much bustier woman beside her. Then we’re inside an examination room, where Dr. Ray himself is speaking to the camera. He takes some measurements, expresses some surprise at how small our breasts are, and says that while there’s nothing wrong that, he thinks we might be happier with bigger—or much bigger—breasts. The perspective changes, and we see that he’s talking to a chicken.
The Pitch: “Naturally larger chicken breasts, on the Bacon Swiss Crispy Chicken Sandwich. New at Carl’s Jr.”
My Comments: Am I the only one who gets a mental image of chomping down on a mouthful of silicone? Is this at all appetizing to anyone? Did they consult any women about this ad? I can’t imagine this is a happy association—major cosmetic surgery and fried chicken sandwiches—for most of them. I can only assume that, like the restaurant’s previous ad campaign (“If it doesn’t get all over the place, it doesn’t belong in your face”), this one’s targeted mostly toward the stereotypical young, middle-American male. I guess it worked for Hooters.
03.30.06
More Kid Stuff
I was weeding through my Sent Items folder today and found a few messages I’d sent during my first month as a teacher. I particularly liked this transcript—two boys came to me to complain about a classmate’s behavior during recess:
Boy #1: She keeps Kung Fu-ing people, and she won’t stop!
Boy #2: It’s like no means yes!
Boy #1: Also, she keeps kicking people in the … uncooperative area.
03.08.06
The Games Children Play
I’m filling in for the Kindergarten teacher in the afternoons this week while she does Preschool assessment testing. This enables me to overhear conversations like this one, which happened during Free Time:
Girl: (holding two telephones) Do you want to play this with me?
Boy: OK.
They sit across from each other at a table; the girl picks up the receiver on her phone.
Girl: Ring ring! Ring ring!
The boy picks up his own receiver.
Boy: Hello?
Girl: Hello. You have a call from … the President.
Boy: OK.
Girl: OK. I’ll put him through.
She hangs up and pushes some buttons.
Boy: (confused) Hello?
The girl walks away.
03.07.06
A Reminder
Now that we know you can be investigated by Homeland Security for paying off debts, this might be a good time to read up on your rights.
02.24.06
Word to the Wise
Pyrotechnics are always a fun way to celebrate after a sporting event, but unless you plan on welding together some bleacher seating to go with your friend’s big-screen plasma TV, leave the acetylene at home.
02.16.06
Scary Link of the Day
Preparing for pandemic: know how to bury your dead. From Reuters.
I say bring it on. We need something to knock property values down a notch around here.
